The Coastal Action Research Establishment (CARE) at Holt Bay on the south coast of England has been spared from disaster thanks to an unlikely hero, a country vicar named Father Stanley Unwin.
Father Unwin, a mild mannered member of the clergy, had been visiting a friend, Professor Graham, on Friday evening. The Professor is the head of research at the facility and is a leading figure in the efforts to preserve coastal regions from ecological disaster. “The battle to save the coastlines of the world is a long and difficult road, but one we must follow”, Professor Graham told our correspondent. “If it had not been for the actions of Father Unwin, our work to date may well have been lost.”
During Father Unwin’s visit to CARE, there was an unusual surge of activity in one of the facility’s auto-sampling tanks. Senior Technician Dale explained, “The tanks are used to analyse samples of sea water. We’ve had some trouble with one of the older tanks of late, and in fact were only days away from having it serviced when the incident occurred.”
Upon learning about the malfunction, Professor Graham asked Dale to investigate the problem at once, only for Father Unwin to intervene. “I’ve known Father Unwin for years,” said Graham, “He suggested that we ought to focus our attention on the chemical agents store instead. This seemed incredible to me as the two systems have nothing in common, yet there was always something uncanny about Father Unwin’s intuition, so I agreed.”
Technician Dale checked the chemical agents store, “I was baffled, but I’ve never known Professor Graham to be wrong yet, so I did as he asked and made my way to the chemical agents store. We use small quantities of various chemicals in our research, and they are all tightly controlled and stored absolutely securely to avoid contamination. You can imagine my surprise when I opened the security door and discovered two unconscious strangers tied up in the corner with an explosive sitting at their feet!”
The investigating officer who attended the scene commented, “It is a mystery how the person who tied up the two intruders gained access to the security area. The door was locked and the electronic lock-pick was on one of the intruders when they were discovered. There is no other access to the room and I doubt even a child could get through the small air vent in the ceiling.”
When questioned, the intruders could not shed any light on the circumstances of their apprehension, stating they had not seen the one who knocked them unconscious, only that he or she must have been slightly built to avoid being seen in the small room.
Professor Graham reiterated his gratitude to Father Unwin, saying, “It’s clear the intruders intended to cause a massive ecological disaster that would have seriously discredited CARE, but thanks to Father Unwin’s intuition and the mysterious individual who stopped the intruders, we have been spared from such a catastrophe. Three cheers for Father Unwin!”
When asked for comment, Father Unwin replied humbly, “Sometimes it takes the smallest thing to accomplish a great mission.”
Leave a comment